I Did My Best

lost-and-found-philip-sweeck

♫ I did my best..
But I guess my best ♪
Wasn’t good enough.. ♬ ♩

Irony of ironies: few days after I posted Paradigm Shift, I lost valuable things, again.. for the nth time.

I couldn’t believe it at first. I’m pretty sure I just left it somewhere and I will be able to get it soon.

But I didn’t.

It took me three days to finally let go and accept the reality. I was really hoping that it is just a kind of practical joke: somebody will return the things to me the next day then we will all laugh together at my negligence.

But nobody returned anything.

It is official: I. Lost. It.

IT. IS. GONE.

Was I devastated? Who wouldn’t be?
Disappointed at myself? Definitely!
Frustrated of what happened? Absolutely!

But despite of being devastated, disappointed and frustrated, I felt peace. Yes, as in: P-E-A-C-E.

Is it because I was used to losing things every now and then? Nope!

I’m at peace because I just lost a thing; it can be replaced. At least I was not harmed. My father said it this way: “Ok lang yun anak. Ang mabuti walang nangyaring masama sayo.”

(Everybody now: “Aaaaaahhhh…”)

What bothers me is the fact that it is forming a pattern.

Exactly one year ago, I had the same experience. It happened in the middle of my misery. I was negligent and I assume full responsibility over it. But now, though I still assume responsibility for what happened.. I am not in total misery anymore. I am, in fact, so happy with my life.

So can I just conclude that negligence is a part of my system?

No! I don’t like it to be a part of me!

I was asking God why this has to happen.. What is His purpose? What lessons am I missing out? How can I take negligence off my system?

To be honest, I still don’t know why; nor do I know how.

I just rest on the truth that God knows hudas not pay, err, I mean, who took it.. And I don’t have to worry for He knows all things. His thoughts and ways are far higher than mine. I may not understand. I may not know why. But I think I don’t need to know. I just need to trust God that He has a purpose for everything. When it seems like my best wasn’t good enough, I choose to rely on God for His strength and grace.

What I don’t want to happen is to miss out on lessons He wants me to learn. With that I pray that He give me attentive ears to hear and heart to obey.

Photo Credit: http://fineartamerica.com/featured/lost-and-found-philip-sweeck.html

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