Is today. 🙂
Hooray for today!
I never truly appreciate my value until I let go of yesterday. That’s my take away on the song Let Her Go by Passenger.
In my last post, I shared my view of letting go and offered an idea that though it is hard, it is still possible.
Today I’ll share how I did it.
So how was I able to let go?
Well, I just woke up one day and told myself: “Hey, you gotta pick up yourself and move on!”
Then I did. That easy. No sweat.
But it’s not easy my dear.
As I’ve said, I went through roller coaster of emotion–even those I never knew existed:
The feeling of being like the loneliest woman who ever lived on earth.
The feeling of being betrayed by someone you trusted most of your life.
The feeling of being confused on who you really are.
The feeling of being lost on what would be your purpose after them being gone.
The feeling of being slap in the face by the truth.
The feeling of wanting to get things fixed and make the relationship work.
The feeling of truck-full of grudge; Mt. Everest-kind of rage and over-erupting anger.
The feeling of needing to stay not because I’d love to but because I have to.
The feeling of the need to be validated in order to keep your insecurities locked up.
The feeling of being used and abused.
The feeling of being taken for granted.
The feeling of guilt because your hands aren’t clean and you’ve done something wrong too.
The feeling of regret on wasting most of your life onto some people who turned out to be not worth an ounce of time.
The feeling of being lied upon.
The feeling of wanting to please those people in expense of violating your own boundaries.
The feeling of being broken and crushed.
The feeling of being angry to yourself because you let all this in.
The feeling of ending this life to stop the numbing pain.
The feeling of needing help and love.
That feeling that was never satisfied.
That hole they left in your heart after hurting you big time.
But you got to reach your stopping point where you’ll say: ENOUGH!
You may cry all you want but it won’t reverse what happened.
Yes you could cry but make sure to stand and get back up.
You owe that not to them but to yourself.
Because I decided that this needs to stop, I was able to seek and receive help.
Renewed relationship. I wouldn’t be able to get through this if I don’t have a relationship with Jesus.
He comforted me.
Cried with me.
Literally filled me with promises and new beginning.
He helped me filter my thoughts and told me that revenge in my hands won’t help.
I should let Him in and change my heart.
So did He.
It’s not easy.
I have to check my thoughts every minute and fight with the temptation to curse them and think evil thoughts against them.
I have to recall His Word and promises to fight against guilt and condemnation.
The more I do that, the more I felt peace.
The more I cry, not because it hurts but because I’m free.
The more I felt loved and cherished by Him who gave His life for me.
The more I get to appreciate His love and purpose in my life.
He helped me understand that He has a purpose why it has to happen.
He asked me to trust in Him.
He told me that the best is yet to come.
He let me saw how He handpicked me from that mess and put me in His loving arms.
He offered me hope.
He loved me beyond what I can imagine and filled me with awe of His greatness.
My relationship with Him was restored. I’m really grateful for His sweet and amazing grace that literally freed me away from the prison I created for myself. I thank Him for His never ending mercy in forgiving me from all my sins and violating His boundaries.
He remained faithful.
He is the lover of my soul.
My life won’t be complete without Him.
And my prayer for you my friend is you would be able to see Him in the middle of your mess.
That there’s hope in Him.
That He loves you more than what you think. He gave His life for you at the cross, years back. And that kind of love cannot be compared to the love anyone could offer.
His love is free but it is not cheap. It is worth His blood. He paid His blood for all our sins just to give us freedom. Just for us to be reconciled with Him.
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16 NKJV
If like me you are struggling with letting go, there’s hope. You can let go. But you need help. You need God. You need Jesus in your life.
You can receive forgiveness by believing and accepting Him as your Lord and Savior.
Yet to all who receive Him, to all who believe in His Name, He gives the right to become the children of God. John 1:12, NIV
Start believing in Him. Start receiving His love. Start abiding in His precepts. And you’ll never regret that decision of following Him.
In my next post, I’ll share what other things God used to help me let go. Thanks for reading through and I hope you were blessed by my story.