In my last post, I shared how I struggled with forgiveness and why I need to take an inventory of boundary-filled relationship.
Now I’ll share the rest of things I did to let go.
Open up. This is real hard. As I’ve said, I tend to keep the good out. I can’t ask help from anyone. And I’m not really sure who are the safest people I can open up to.
Once I identified who the safe people are, I let them in. I open up. I share my thoughts. I tell them how I feel. I recounted my stories of pain and hurt. I cried. I seek help. For once, I put down the mask I’ve been wearing for the longest time. I showed them my darkest side and took the risk of losing our relationship.
Thank God they stayed. They understood. They listened. They didn’t point any finger at me nor talked against me (behind my back). They prayed with me. Loved me. Welcomed me into their life. The relationship I took the risk of losing leaped another level of closeness I never imagined.
But little by little, I try. Step by step, I am learning to receive love from them and give back as well. I am starting to appreciate every little thing they do for me that I usually take for granted like:
All the dishes my dad cooks for me;
When my mom combs my hair in the morning;
Every time my sister ransacks my room and ask for extra piece of make-up;
When my nephews ask me to level them up in PVZ;
And when my brother in law checks on me at night.
I also practice small boundaries with them. I try to say no at some requests and explain how I felt about it. They usually understand.
Aside from my biological family, I am grateful for my spiritual family.
With them, I felt loved. With them, I was able to see the beauty of having a family with whom I can laugh, do stuff and bless other people as well.
Together, we share our lives. Together, we learn from each other. And together, we hope to make a difference.
I wouldn’t be able to make it without them. They inspired me to live for God and do things for His glory. I caught their vision and ignited my passion. Doing things with them brings me sense of fulfillment. Going out with them brings this sense of belonging I never had experienced before.
I’m new to this because I’m not really a “group” person. Sometimes I still struggle with the feeling of “I-do-not-belong-because-they-were-so-solid-and-they-knew-each-other-ever-since” and “who-are-you-new-comer?” But I just shrug it off and let them prove me wrong. They’re so accommodating; full of dry humor and corny jokes. I totally love this family! 😉
So there. The list involves drastic changes. But I’m glad I’m not alone. There comes the importance of friends and families by your side. Some of them don’t even know I went through this but their presence alone makes a difference in my life.
I didn’t publish this to be scrutinized nor to pin people down but to somehow share my struggles and inspire people who are going through the same. Let this post serve its purpose.
Remember, you can let go. There’s hope. 🙂