Drowning In Agony

There are things that changed I cannot fathom

Deny it. Fake it. But you cannot conceal a ripping heart.

I can only speculate for there are lots of reason

None of them matters

 

I miss the way we used to be

I thought nothing will change

But this change is slapping my face again

Showing himself as a powerful phase

That all things change except change

 

It hurts that you do not long for my company as you used to

When you constantly pepper our convo with all the unnecessary details

Keeping me updated with every single millisecond of your mundane life

All of things are lost, too.

 

All the plans have crushed

All the fantasies are gone

This is for the better

But better is one giant leap farther

 

Farther from where your heart is

I cannot see your glowing emotions from afar

There was a fence in the green pasture of your heart

I cannot cross the line

 

This freaking change happened before

The feelings, wary, emotions and uncertainties

They are all familiar faces I do not long to see

They’re having a party in the basement of my growing insecurity

 

I’d like to run and escape the agony

The pain and hurt they are all causing me

It is easier to shut down all emotions

But braver to face and embrace them

Leaving this heart nothing but bruises

 

I cannot run far from this mountain

There’s this longing chained like a heartstring

I can only watch every barrier shaken

Cry a million sea, drown in my agony

 

Hope for the best of this season

And prepare for the worst it can bring

If only I can encapsulate my weary heart

For it doesn’t want to win or lose this fight

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