Ngumiti Ka | Smile | by Juan Miguel Severo

NGUMITI KA

by Juan Miguel Severo

 

Ngumiti ka.

Sige,

Ngiti pa.

Ibigay mo ang ngiti ng isang taong buo,

Ng isang taong puno.

 

Tandaan mo,

Sanay ka nang wala siya.

Kaya sige,

Ngitian mo siya.

 

Huwag mong pansinin ang mga lubid

Na nagbubuhol-buhol sa sikmura mo.

Hindi ka dapat bumigay

Sa gulat nang makita siyang muli.

 

Matatag ka na.

Hindi ka mayayanig nito.

Hindi ka na dapat mayanig nito.

 

Bakit hindi mo siya alukin ng mauupuan?

Bakit hindi mo siya ipagtimpla ng kape?

At huwag mong ipapahalata

Na kabisado mo pa rin ang timpla niya;

Na ayaw niya ng gatas;

At ang asukal

Dapat isa lang na kutsarita.

 

At habang hinahalo mo ito,

Huwag mong bibilangin

Ang dami ng beses na ginawa mo ito;

At marami pang bagay para sa kanya,

Para sa kanya.

Hindi ito ang oras para maging mahina.

 

Susubukan niyang kausapin ka.

Pakinggan mo.

Ipagpaliban ang mga libo-libong tanong

Na nakapila sa isipan mo.

Matatag ka na, hindi ba?

 

Kapag ngumiti siya,

Ibaling mo ang tingin mo sa iba.

Tumingin ka sa kisame,

Sa sahig,

Sa mga linya sa kanyang mukha

Na dati’y wala naman doon.

 

Huwag mong

Sasabihin

Na noon

Noong nawala siya

Ilang beses kang naging haliging asin

Dahil sa iyong paglingon.

 

Na hanggang ngayon

Ay may galos ka pa rin sa iyong mga kamay

Sa kasusubok na hilahin siyang pabalik;

Na ang kanyang mga halik

Ay bumibisita pa rin sa iyong panaginip.

 

Tatanungin niya

Kung kumusta ka na.

Sabihin mo:

“Mabuti ako.”

 

Huwag mong sasabihin

Na “Ito,

Gumuguho na naman ako

Dahil sa pagbabalik mo;

Na “Mas kilala ko pa rin

Ang kung sino ako

Nang nasa tabi mo.

Ako ay isang lihim

Na tanging ikaw lang ang may alam;

At anong silbi

Ng isang sikretong nalimutan?”

 

Huwag kang madudurog sa harap niya.

Pero ngitian mo siya.

Ngitian mo siya.

Kumapit ka sa kasalukuyan

Hangga’t sa may makakapitan ka pa.

 

Ngitian mo siya.

At kapag nagpaalam na siya

Huwag mong ibagsak ang pinto.

Marahan mo itong isara.

 

Sana matagpuan mong malinis pa rin ang silid.

At kung ano mang bahagi mo

Ang napilas

At nabaklas,

Sana tinangay na niya.

 

Siya naman ang magdala.


 

SMILE

by Juan Miguel Severo

 

Smile.

Go ahead,

Smile like you’re somebody whole;

Somebody full.

 

Remember,

You’re used to being without her.

So go ahead,

Smile at her.

 

Ignore the knots in your stomach.

You shouldn’t give in to the shock of seeing her again.

 

You’re strong now.

This couldn’t shake you.

This should no longer shake you.

 

Why don’t you offer her a seat?

Why don’t you make her some coffee?

And don’t let her notice

You remember how she likes it;

That she doesn’t like milk;

And with just a teaspoon of sugar.

 

And while you’re stirring it,

Don’t count the times you’ve done this;

And the many more things

You did for her;

For her.

This is not the time to be weak

 

She will try to talk to you.

Listen.

Postpone the thousand of questions

Lined up in your mind.

You’re strong now, aren’t you?

 

If she smiles

Look at something else.

Look at the ceiling,

At the floor,

At the lines on her face

That weren’t there before.

 

Don’t tell her that when,

When she went away,

You turned in a pillar of salt

Several times over

For looking back.

 

That your hands are still bruised

From trying to pull her back;

That her kisses still visit your dreams.

 

She will ask how you are

Tell her, “I’m fine.”

 

Don’t tell her that

“Here I am, falling into pieces again

Because you’re back.”

That “I still know myself better

When I’m beside you.

I am a secret only you know.

And what is the use of a secret

That has been forgotten?”

 

Don’t crumble in front of her

But smile at her.

Smile at her.

Hold on to the present

As long as there’s something to hold on to.

 

Smile at her.

And when she says goodbye,

Do not slam the door.

Close it gently.

 

Pray you find the room still clean.

And the parts of you

That were ripped

and unhinged,

Pray that she took it with her.

 

Let her carry the burden this time.


 

This is a Spoken Word Poetry by Juan Miguel Severo performed in “On The Wings Of Love” Series of Philippine Prime Time TV.

I loved the poem so much as it speaks the inner thoughts and ramblings of my soul when I’ve reconnected with a best-friend-turned-stranger-then-acquiantance.

Upon hearing this, I was urged to create a similar poem bursting from my personal experience. But since I am too lazy busy as of the moment, will just post this to remind myself about creating the same.

I can’t find the Filipino transcript of this poetry yet so I created a transcript myself. Both Filipino and English transcript was taken from the episode of On The Wings Of Love dated January 14, 2016 on time stamp 6:47 to 9:31. Will update this post as soon as I find a clip in YouTube.

Hope you find the poetry beautiful as I do.

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6 thoughts on “Ngumiti Ka | Smile | by Juan Miguel Severo

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