For forty minutes, while in the passenger seat of our service shuttle going to the factory, I have been contemplating on whether to change my Facebook (FB) profile picture or not.
What a very deep thought, right?
I am struggling to find a nice picture that will best represent myself (preferably without filter) and shows a good angle. All the photos in my phone are either pixelated or poorly taken. My front camera doesn’t produce a quality photo. In other words, none of it passed my standard.
There’s something in it that makes my heart beat fast.
Due to wide range of identity theft (of mostly my actual known friends), I rarely post selfies or faces of people in my social media accounts. I just keep it in my phone and delete them afterwards.
But there’s also another reason.
Previously, before recommitting to Christ, I’ve been in hiding–from people and church friends. I feel very vulnerable in posting my photo in social media. It feels like having a panic attack on the thought that my Facebook friends will know my whereabouts; what I’m currently doing; where I was headed; and who am I hanging out with. I don’t want to divulge such information to everyone. There’s a stigma that makes me cautious on what to post. Heck, I can’t even share all my writings to my personal FB account. I’m afraid to be known.
Ironically, I feel safer sharing my thoughts here in WordPress although this is actually a platform where anybody can go and find you. I have a little theory–maybe because the friends I gain here are more accommodating since we don’t really know each other personally. And the people I meet virtually are also writers who actually pour out their thoughts in their personal space. I get to troll in their post and put comments as if we’re actually friends and they welcome all my ideas (because they don’t have a choice, haha!).
But now, I’ve been set free! It is for freedom that Christ has set me free. I’m not afraid anymore. I am now okay with being vulnerable. I think it is about time to change. That’s what I get when I reconnected my life to Christ. He peeled me off my insecurity and worries. He stripped me off my scales of fear. He scraped the wound of my past so that healing can begin.
Having this connection with Christ also put me in a season where I need to get connected with people. My small group, ministry team members and leaders couldn’t find me nor identify that it is me because my profile picture is not a picture of myself. I keep my account very private where we cannot be connected unless we have a mutual friend. I never keep a public post with personal photos. And to top it off, my FB name is not my full name.
Since I am not hiding anymore, I am now open to the idea of changing my profile photo. One of my friend in church suggested to change my profile picture and put my full name so I can be identified easily and be added to our FB groups. Thus, I spent my time this morning on browsing pictures that is worthy to be my display photo. But in the middle of that contemplating act, I stopped and write a draft about it. Hence, this post.
And guess what happened? I still didn’t change my profile photo because I chose to write my thoughts down. Haha! I guess, I’ll just let them figure out on how to find me. I don’t really post things there anyway. 😀