Today is my first day in the office after a month of local leave. Well, after 40 days. I extended because I need to shift to another house.
I have been pleading with God back and forth if I can just quit and look for another job. But being in a foreign country doesn’t make it easy to just disappear and leave your current company. And also, leaving without proper process doesn’t align with my core values. It is a shame to even think that but I do, more than a thousand times.
As I was grumbling to the Lord, bugging Him to give me a go signal from His Word to leave, I read this passage:
“Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Then the LORD said to Moses, “Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on.”
Exodus 14:13-15 NIV
The Israelites are being chased by chariot armies. Their lives are at stake. Their default reaction is to grumble to Moses. They really believe they’re going to die because behind them are the soldiers. In front of them is Red Sea. Moses told them to be still because he is sure that the Lord will help them. The Lord said, move on. Then the Israelites cannot believe what their eyes are seeing: the sea parted and they walked on dry ground.
And I was rebuked. I saw how rebellious my heart is. I have identified with the grumbling hearts of the Israelites. I realized how I like things to happen the way I want it. I reasoned with God and I know all my reasons are valid. But He reasoned with this: “Don’t you trust me?”
My lips says I do but my action shows I don’t.
I asked for strength to face things through and faith to believe what He has promised.