Shame Of My Youth

That thing in Facebook that reminds you of what happened or what you posted five or seven years ago. Sometimes it will show you a picture of a person that you don’t wish to see anymore. Most of the time it will remind you of happy memories and triggers a feeling of wanting to see those people in an instant.

A lot have been posted on this day but this poem stands out:

Sa tuwing pagsikat ng araw at paglubog nito,
Sa tuwing pagbuhos ng ulan at pagihip ng hangin,
Sa tuwing papagaspas ang dahon ng puno,
Sa tuwing makakarinig ng huni ng ibon…

Aking naalala ang mapait na kahapon,
Di na sana nais pang magpatuloy hanggang sa ngayon.
Ngunit bakit sa bawat hakbang, bawat galaw,
Tila umuulit ang masalimuot na kahapong tanglaw.

I realized that I’ve been lingering in hatred and shame for the longest time. Imagine, this was year 2010! Ha!

But because of God’s grace and overflowing love, the shame of my youth doesn’t drag me now like it used to. I learned to cast it off to the one who loves me most.

This is what I declare when the bitterness of the past is popping up in my mind:

“Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.”
Isaiah 54:4

If He, the God of heaven and earth, will forget the shame of my youth, how dare am I to keep remembering them with disgrace?

Do you despise what you did during your youth? If so, how are you dealing it?

PS: Not my wrist.

“It is finished.”

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14 thoughts on “Shame Of My Youth

  1. Yeah I do, and I think everybody does at one point or another. When I look at my “younger days”, there are things I have always wanted to undo or change. But that’s where my beautiful present came from and this realization shakes off all the bitterness and shame.

    Liked by 2 people

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