Wang-Wang

Reciting complex password with confidence:

Sierra
Sierra
Foxtrot
Hotel
Lima
Gulf
6
Diego
Wangwang

Wangwang?!?!?!?

Ate: Ahahahahaha! Di mo pa ginawang Wengweng. Nahiya ka pa.

Me: Di ko alam yung Wengweng!! Hahaha

Also me: Okay na, okay na??? Pwede ko na ituloy?? Hahaha!

Me to myself: Military Alphabet ka pa a. Di mo naman pala kabisado. Hahahaha

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You Belong Here

You belong here.
Here.
Together with the wacky smile of lovely young souls greeting your weekend like a butterfly
Never expecting to fly around your weary heart
Bringing joy to your empty spine.

Life Group: Fun Friday Fellowship

You belong here.
Here.
Inside the cream painted wall of three little rooms and ten resilient hearts you never expected to call home.
Always calling your sweet, sweet name
Reminding you, “It’s okay. It’s okay..

Housemates @ Lord’s | Christmas 2017

Stop stepping in and out of your own crappy box
peeking at the tiny hole,
always looking for the glowing fingers of those resilient hearts.
Wondering, how are they doing it?
Facing the punches–sometimes of life, sometimes of each other
But never letting it bruise with red and blue
Never letting the scars wound their spine
Always forgiving, always embracing.
Always letting you know
That “God will always be greater than your highs and lows
and point you towards His direction
And when life return your heart back shattered and broken
They will help you pick up the pieces and tell you,
You belong here.”

La Mer, DXB

Almost

She’s too good to be true.”
Your answer when asked why we were never lovers.
Words that shouldn’t pierce my heart but it did forever.
Is it a compliment or an excuse? I couldn’t decipher.
Your eyes, pale blank, couldn’t read a letter.
Your words, always luring but never committing.
But your actions, reaches my heart and embraces it like yours, my almost-lover.

Got me a cake on my 25th birthday.
You are the first woman I ever given a cake.
Don’t ask me why, I don’t know either.

Wasn’t curious and wasn’t supposed to flutter
But your words were sealed in my heart like a love letter
Meant to travel into multiple Blood Moon
Your intentions were tucked into the moonshine, forever hiding its gloom

You asked me one night if we can be lovers
You reek of alcohol and your walk never stable
Was drinking really necessary for this question?
My almost-lover,
Ask me tomorrow when you are sober
I want to read those words in your eyes
Want to know if sincerity was ever in your mind.

But I never got the chance to see your eyes
For you were gone as swift as the wind that passed by
You are like a firefly
That flickers its light into the night
On and off, left and right
You are never meant to be held until the morning shine
I guess you were right, I’m too good to be true
For you never put a fight.

PS: Guys, hindi pa rin ako ‘to. Pasensya na, di ko pa kaya ibalandra yung mukha ko dito sa WP. Hahahaha!

5 Things I Didn’t Expect to Happen on 2018 Global Leadership Summit

1. It is a semi-formal event.

As what usually happens to me when attending events, I always come underdressed. And when underdressed, I mean, wearing running shoes that glows under UV light. Lame.

2. The speakers are inside the screen.

We are watching a video recording of the event that happened elsewhere. I thought we will be able to see them personally. Although you will most likely be watching them on the screen because your seats are farther away from stage, it still gives you a different feeling when you get to see them live. One of my friend even brought a book of one of the speakers to get it signed but, yeah, better luck next time.

Apparently, this is really the set-up of the event. It is being held yearly at Willow’s campus every August and shown via live HD telecast on other parts of North America. Then to the rest of the world by Fall.

**Photo grabbed from Ate Jenny’s FB

3. Got headache due to UV Light (and lack of sleep).

I know you should be well rested. But we had a random road trip the night before. We drive across 2 Emirates for almost 12 hours and ended up with roughly two hours of sleep in the car. It is a struggle to listen to the virtual speakers with a heavy head and a clingy upper eye lid that always wants to reconnect with her lover–lower eye lid (pumipikit siya ng kusa, bes!). My eyes cries SLEEEEP and it didn’t help that the only lights open during the session were UV lights. To top it off, my shoe laces are glowing so much–it hurts my eyes! Because I am not really a fan of striking lights, smoke or loud music, my head feels like bursting as a result. This kind of set-up is not conducive to learning, atleast for me who didn’t have enough sleep. But I don’t represent all the attendees so I might as well shut up, right?

Jebel Hafeet, Al Ain, AUH

4. I would meet new people from different places.

I expect to meet and greet friends from my previous church community. There are many familiar faces and I’m so happy to see them again. But I didn’t expect to meet people outside my usual peers. I met Claude, Deborah and Ethel. They’re my seatmates during lunch along with other churchmates.

Claude is writing a book about people and understanding their emotions. She thought she’s alone in the ideas she has in mind but as she heard how the speakers are conveying the same principles she believes, her eyes light up. It encouraged her to pursue what she believes in and gave her drive to go on.

Deborah is new in the country and still getting her way in and out. She is with her mother, Ethel who is so sweet–she grabbed my hand and squeezed it so tight as we introduced each other. Deborah said Bill Hybel is her pastor back in Chicago. She heard this event from the church she and her husband is attending.

I also met Pet and her husband. Pet has been smiling at me inside the hall. I thought she is from the same church but as we met in the tea hall, she said my face looks familiar because she sees my profile in FB. She knows that I’m from Isabela. She is from Cabagan and I’m from Cauayan. You never know who you will meet here and there.

**Photo grabbed from Ate Jenny’s FB

5. I would learn practical principles about leadership.

The conference is open for all leaders from any institutions and not all who attended are Christians. It is my first time to attend such event so I am very excited on what to learn. I know it is a conference about leadership but I didn’t expect to learn very practical principles of leadership from reputable leaders in and out of the church.

Get people to give you feedback. ~ Sheryl Sanders, COO of Facebook, Founder of Lean In

As you go up the ladder of leadership, it would be harder for you to receive feedback. So you should seek them intentionally. Coming from an asian culture, we are not accustomed in giving feedback to our seniors and accepting feedback (specially negative) from someone. I need to work more on this.

Say “Wow!” instead of “How?”. ~ Andy Stanley, Leadership Author, Communicator, Pastor

Don’t let the ideas die a natural death by resisting seemingly weird suggestions or ideas that are out of the box. It won’t cost you to compliment the idea by saying “Wow!” instead of immediately repelling it with reasons why it won’t work.

Rush out there. ~ Juliet Funt, CEO, Whitespace at Work

Make sure you didn’t miss it. You might be busy reaching out your dreams and you have so much on your plate but be ready to drop everything when it comes to your family and loved ones. It might be your last chance. The next time might be too late.

Love is so much stonger than the fear of something bad would happen. ~ ImmaculΓ©e Ilibagiza, Advocate for Peace and Forgiveness, Author of Left To Tell

You might be expecting something horrible but the love of God and your love for your family will overpower the fear and will give you strength to fight.

Make an inventory of your fears. ~ Gary Haugen, Founder and CEO, International Justice Mission

When you expose your fears, you know what you are up against. Will you let it kill your dreams?

PS: No take-away from Bill Hybels because we missed the first session. Roadtrip pa more!


The Global Leadership Summit

The Global Leadership Summit is a two-day event telecast LIVE in HD from Willow’s campus near Chicago every August to hundreds of locations in North America. In the months that follow, Summit events take place at an additional 775+ sites in 130 countries and 60 languages.

Sweet Surprise

“Lord, would it be nice if some stranger hand me their jacket to borrow? I’m chilling cold.”

A few hours after that unspoken thought, one of the crew gave me her black crochet top.

“Use this,” she said.

Although it is not how I imagined it would happen, getting that silent prayer answered is quite amazing. Can’t get enough of the Lord’s sweetness that day!

PS: TBH, what I imagined is a cute Oppa putting his jacket on me (like how they do it in Kdrama). But wouldn’t it be akward and creepy? Di ko naman siya kilala e. Ano siya? Hahaha! The Lord’s ways and thoughts are really higher (and way better) than mine. And He also knows how to give me a good laugh. πŸ™ŠπŸ™‰πŸ™ˆπŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜πŸ˜Š

PPS: Pinost ko na ‘to sa IG story, pati sa feed tapos dito sa WP. Please wag niyo ko i-judge. Gusto ko lang talaga i-aura yung lips ko ikwento kung paano sinagot ni Lord yung prayer ko. Pag iisipan ko pa kung ipopost ko rin to sa FB. Hahaha!

Puzzle

I saw you first in front of the store we agreed to meet. I can smell the awkwardness a few meters away like a burning cookie in the oven. I know you are not ready to see us. You are trying really hard to wear your smile. Your heart, as clear as the ocean sky, cannot sink in another world. You were like a snail hiding in its own shell every time someone tries to peek in. You don’t really care how the world outside your shell is revolving. You are a world on your own. The stage is yours and you walk your way against the squeaking pain of a shattered shell. Resilience, you said. You are resilient.

I listened to your story over and over. Asking questions you are hesitant to answer. You are giving your stories piece by piece, I have no idea how to put the puzzle together. You never open your hands. You always keep it fisted in your pocket. Burying that relevant puzzle piece in the grave of your sorrow, waiting people to discover you. I want to rip open your mind and dig the unspoken thoughts hidden in the muddy shell of your skull.

You once taught me about depenetration. Told me how we are so quick in pouring our hearts out. Peeling layers and layers of skin like an onion reaching the core of our hearts. Only to find out that nothing is there to hold us together. So we slowly, painstakingly depenetrate. Tip-toeing our way out of each other’s heart. Our feet full of spikes that scratches deep into the scar.

Last night I saw you in front of the store we never agreed to meet. Your eyes sparkling with jest. Your smile as wide as ever. I saw new people peeking in the windows of your heart so you open the door for them. You are now out of your shattered shell. Your hands no longer tied in your pocket. You give new puzzle pieces to each of them. I never saw those pieces before. They are bright and fresh, smells like a morning dew. A drop of hope that stretches in the field like a rainbow after a drizzling rain.

My heart stopped beating as I see you again. I feel my hand form a fist as I keep it inside my pocket. I’m still holding a tattered puzzle piece of our memories. I never thought I bled when we tip-toed away. Never felt the spike slowly pinching into my skin. It was not painful then but it was thrice the sorrow now. I never get to see the new puzzle pieces you are handing out. I bleed for the indifference we uphold. The lack of intent to reconnect the glowing pieces of the stories untold.

You never taught me how to repenetrate a depenetrated heart.

Truthful And Loving

Got this message from a friend:

“Hi *endearment*, can we please follow the schedule in using the bathroom? Some people are being affected. Hehe. Take care. God Bless! 😊”

Awkward

I feel terrible.

Although it hit a nerve, I shift my focus on other things instead and read about a forming ball of tension within a group that can become somewhat offensive. Good thing it was diffused immediately.

I’m appaled. I wonder why?

Then I skimmed about the happenings in Mayon Volcano as it continue to erupt ashes and lava that dangerously affects the entire city and its people.

Why do I feel awful?

I randomly cited the possible reasons.

Is it because of the tension in GC? –Nah.

Errupting Mayon Volcano? –Nah.

Ahhh! It is because of my lack of discipline!

And to make it worse, I wasn’t able to recognize it myself and ask forgiveness. It took my friend to speak up and tell to my face how my lack of discipline affects them negatively.

After realizing how her statement affects me, I quickly apologize. Tried to make the statement light by emoticons but I couldn’t. I still feel heavy. I want to make excuses but I don’t have any. I think saying sorry is not enough. I feel like it was not enough. I’m hesitant to say “it won’t happen again” because knowing myself, it most likely would happen again. But I say it anyway. I’ll just try hard to keep up with it.

Tensions and things like this happens in real life. It is not always flowers and laughter and food. After all, what is life without disagreement and annoyance? It brings us closer together and builds strength in the relationship if we respond with love.

It is not easy to speak up about an offense made against you. So I commend my friend for correcting me. But it is not easy to receive correction either. No matter how it was told, pain will aways creep into your bones.

To borrow Nay Rhea‘s acronym, IINLI*.

IT IS NO LONGER I

“My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20 NLT

Because it is no longer I who lives but Christ, I can accept the correction not as an offense but love.

I’m worried how will I respond when I see her in the evening. There could be some awkwardness in the air. But to my surprise, there’s none. Not an ounce of resentment felt. We moved on and charged it to experience.

I’m glad to have friends who are truthful and loving. Solomon, the wisest king who ever lived is right when he said, “Better is open rebuke than hidden love.”

I forgive you. I love you. Let’s move on.