You belong here.
Together with the wacky smile of lovely young souls greeting your weekend like a butterfly
Never expecting to fly around your weary heart
Bringing joy to your empty spine.
Life Group: Fun Friday Fellowship
You belong here.
Inside the cream painted wall of three little rooms and ten resilient hearts you never expected to call home.
Always calling your sweet, sweet name
Reminding you, “It’s okay. It’s okay..”
Housemates @ Lord’s | Christmas 2017
Stop stepping in and out of your own crappy box
peeking at the tiny hole,
always looking for the glowing fingers of those resilient hearts.
Wondering, how are they doing it?
Facing the punches–sometimes of life, sometimes of each other
But never letting it bruise with red and blue
Never letting the scars wound their spine
Always forgiving, always embracing.
Always letting you know
That “God will always be greater than your highs and lows”
and point you towards His direction
And when life return your heart back shattered and broken
They will help you pick up the pieces and tell you,
“You belong here.”
“She’s too good to be true.”
Your answer when asked why we were never lovers.
Words that shouldn’t pierce my heart but it did forever.
Is it a compliment or an excuse? I couldn’t decipher.
Your eyes, pale blank, couldn’t read a letter.
Your words, always luring but never committing.
But your actions, reaches my heart and embraces it like yours, my almost-lover.
Got me a cake on my 25th birthday.
“You are the first woman I ever given a cake.
Don’t ask me why, I don’t know either.”
Wasn’t curious and wasn’t supposed to flutter
But your words were sealed in my heart like a love letter
Meant to travel into multiple Blood Moon
Your intentions were tucked into the moonshine, forever hiding its gloom
You asked me one night if we can be lovers
You reek of alcohol and your walk never stable
Was drinking really necessary for this question?
Ask me tomorrow when you are sober
I want to read those words in your eyes
Want to know if sincerity was ever in your mind.
But I never got the chance to see your eyes
For you were gone as swift as the wind that passed by
You are like a firefly
That flickers its light into the night
On and off, left and right
You are never meant to be held until the morning shine
I guess you were right, I’m too good to be true
For you never put a fight.
PS: Guys, hindi pa rin ako ‘to. Pasensya na, di ko pa kaya ibalandra yung mukha ko dito sa WP. Hahahaha!
I saw you first in front of the store we agreed to meet. I can smell the awkwardness a few meters away like a burning cookie in the oven. I know you are not ready to see us. You are trying really hard to wear your smile. Your heart, as clear as the ocean sky, cannot sink in another world. You were like a snail hiding in its own shell every time someone tries to peek in. You don’t really care how the world outside your shell is revolving. You are a world on your own. The stage is yours and you walk your way against the squeaking pain of a shattered shell. Resilience, you said. You are resilient.
I listened to your story over and over. Asking questions you are hesitant to answer. You are giving your stories piece by piece, I have no idea how to put the puzzle together. You never open your hands. You always keep it fisted in your pocket. Burying that relevant puzzle piece in the grave of your sorrow, waiting people to discover you. I want to rip open your mind and dig the unspoken thoughts hidden in the muddy shell of your skull.
You once taught me about depenetration. Told me how we are so quick in pouring our hearts out. Peeling layers and layers of skin like an onion reaching the core of our hearts. Only to find out that nothing is there to hold us together. So we slowly, painstakingly depenetrate. Tip-toeing our way out of each other’s heart. Our feet full of spikes that scratches deep into the scar.
Last night I saw you in front of the store we never agreed to meet. Your eyes sparkling with jest. Your smile as wide as ever. I saw new people peeking in the windows of your heart so you open the door for them. You are now out of your shattered shell. Your hands no longer tied in your pocket. You give new puzzle pieces to each of them. I never saw those pieces before. They are bright and fresh, smells like a morning dew. A drop of hope that stretches in the field like a rainbow after a drizzling rain.
My heart stopped beating as I see you again. I feel my hand form a fist as I keep it inside my pocket. I’m still holding a tattered puzzle piece of our memories. I never thought I bled when we tip-toed away. Never felt the spike slowly pinching into my skin. It was not painful then but it was thrice the sorrow now. I never get to see the new puzzle pieces you are handing out. I bleed for the indifference we uphold. The lack of intent to reconnect the glowing pieces of the stories untold.
You never taught me how to repenetrate a depenetrated heart.
For the times that you tried to talk to her but hesitated
For the times that you snatched a glance of her smile
For the times that you wonder what she’s thinking
And for the times that you thought what it’s like
This is for you.
From the moment that she captured your attention
To that night that you considered praying for her
For the times that she occupied your thoughts
Asking God to keep her safe and make her whole
This is for you.
If you think you are not enough
If you think you don’t deserve her
If you think she won’t give a chance
Because she is out of your league
This is for you.
If you tried to man up before and asked
But got your heart broken by a no.
If you’re afraid to try again with her
Anticipating another fall.
This is for you.
You are enough.
Nothing is more than enough
Than a man who loves the Lord
And obeys His word.
You deserve her
As much as she deserves you.
You will compliment each other
In every limb and bones.
She will give you a chance
Or she will not
But isn’t it worth to try?
For she is eagerly waiting
But never pursuing
You are diligently praying
And always preparing.
So just go. Pursue her.
Let your intention be known
Don’t test the water
And leave her complexities explode.
May your confidence lie in the Lord
May your heart be most satisfied by His love
So no matter what the result is
Both of you will keep your ground.
There will be conflict.
There will be chaos.
But there will be grace.
And the choice to stick together
through shortcomings and steak.
Last Friday, our team had our first ever conflict. Turned out that some of us (or just me?) are not fully into the game and laxing a bit (or more). Pat needed our help and we weren’t there. Glad that he had patience to handle the situation by himself.
And then when we had our event (bowling) after the service where we thought we planned so well but still turned out to be chaotic. We have problems with team arrangement and the team member’s name got mixed up. It was so stressful but we have to top it off so we can think of ways to handle the situation. Some of the leaders stepped up and helped sort the situation with us. Thank God everyone enjoyed the day despite all the hurdle.