The Gospel and My Dream

Some people claim that we can be Christians without necessarily becoming disciples. I wonder, then, why the last thing Jesus told us was to go into the world, making disciples of all nations, teaching them to obey all that He commanded? You’ll notice that He didn’t add, “But hey, if that’s too much to ask, tell them to just become Christians—you know, the people who get to go to heaven without having to commit to anything.” ~ Crazy Love by Francis Chan

Hey that was harsh yet true. It hit a nail right in my head. 

I used to have this attitude to never ask my friends to go with me to church because I don’t want to inconvenience them. You know, I’d like to go on my own way and they might have a schedule of their own. Besides, I don’t want to be rejected. 

After all, I respect what they believe in and I want them to respect mine. 

It’s as good as saying that I know a cure for cancer but hey, I don’t want to waste your time by asking you to come with me and take some. You might not believe anyway. 

Selfish, right? 

As I’m reading this book, I realized how false my mindsets are and how shallow my views are towards God. 

I had a dream. 

In my dream, we are in a place where we will be sharing the Gospel. We are a group of 10 to 15 people passsionate to God and sharing His love to others. Within the group, I met a godly man who can be my potential husband. However, somewhere in our discussions, he made a negative remark towards my physical appearance. And I was hurt. I prayed and asked God to heal me from this man’s remark and deal with my heart to focus on Him and our purpose why we are there. My heart tends to wander around and throw my perspective out of balance. 

As I was praying, I felt the need to pray for the full time missionaries who boldly answered the call of God to go into the nations. Then the leader of our group asked me: Jai, do you have a word? Implying that I should lead the prayer. 

Then I woke up. 

It is no coincidence that the word I am reading is about commiting 101% to Christ (and that includes sharing the gospel) and my dream is about going on a mission trip and praying about the nation. 

Though the dream also showed me that I will be married to a godly man (for the Lord knows what’s in my heart and He is sweet like that), it is mostly about challenging me to trust Him–fully, without hesitation–for He will use me for His glory. 

——–

PS: The Lord is redeeming my dreams. I used to wake up from a dream panting, shouting, and crying without even remembering what the dream is all about. But now it was clear like crystal and I woke up refreshed and glad. I pray for more dreams like this! 

PS1: How about you, what are your dreams lately? Share them in a post and tag me or just leave a comment below. Would love to read them!

PS2: Do you know that God loves you and is crazy for you? Let that truth sink in. See you around!

God is the creator of heaven and earth; of sun, moon and stars; of you and me. Just because He wants us to exist for Him.

Kundiman

IMG_6378
Let’s walk towards goodness.

Hindi ko ininda ang pag-iwan mo sa akin
Dahil alam kong ininda mo
Na isinantabi ko
Ang pagmamahal mo

Alam kong kay lalim ng sakit
Na idinudulot nito sayo
Ngayon at hindi ko alam
Kung hanggang kaila

Paalam sa iyong pagmamahal
Na lagi ko nang bitbit
Dala-dala ng puso kong nakangiti
At inaalala ang bawat oras na ika’y masaya pa

Umaasa ako
Na balang araw
Makikita pa rin kita
Nakangiti
Puno nang tuwa

At kung hindi man tayo
Sa huli
Magmahal ka pa rin
At paiksiin mo ulit ang apat na oras
Tuwing gabi
Kahit hindi na para sa akin

White Smoke

It is supposedly a Good Night.
It is supposedly a Good Night.

The gates are locked. Jan made sure that the doors are properly locked. She was sleeping with her mother.

While Jan hugged her mom as they are sleeping, a man crept in.

The scent, the built and the man’s face is so familiar, Jan almost smiled upon seeing him.

So she faced the man.

He was Ron, her ex-boyfriend.

But how was he able to come in?

Ron lay beside her without saying a word.

A few seconds later, he started making advances.

A touch on the side.
Kisses on the neck.
Hard kiss on her lips.
He was forcing it.

Jan heard her heart pounding loudly. She is fighting hard but the man was so strong.

She lost hope.

As the moon shines brighter at night, Jan’s heart was torn.

Her dignity was tainted.

But she lifted her eyes and look into this man and said—I forgive you.

Then the man fades away like a dream.. Slowly.. Whitish smoke that fades with the wind.

Note: This is fiction. A meek attempt on short story.

Ang Pinakamatagal Na Tatlumpung Minuto

IMG_7967
The sun sets faster than our 3o-minutes.

Ang pinakamatagal na tatlumpung minuto
Yun na yata
Sa buong buhay ko
Yun na nga

Ang maghintay sa wala
Ni katiting na pag-asa
Sa tayo at bukas
At sa pangarap na sabay nating binuo

Ang makinig sa bulong
Na tila hangin na nga lang
Na sinisigaw ng puso mo
Na wasak at basag

“Hindi ko kaya..”
“Hindi ko kayang mawala ka.”
Paulit-ulit kong binabasa
Sa labi mo

Alam ko
Masakit
Mabigat
Nakakapanlumo

Dinaan ko na nga lang sa tula
Ang kaduwagan ko
Na harapin ka
At yakapin sa bisig ko

Kung dati ay tila kay bilis
Nang limang oras
Gabi-gabi
Tuwing tayo’y magkasama

Ngayon bakit anong pait
At sukdulan ng bagal
Ang pag usad ng bawat segundo
Habang nakatitig ako sa mga mata mo
Sa loob ng tatlumpung minuto

Scream! 

Take me back to yesterday. I'd like to run and play.
Take me back to yesterday. I’d like to run and play.

Can I just scream right now?

Things are getting out of hand! Everyday I wake up to lack of cash, rants of people, payment demands, injustice on both ends, and judging eyes around my place. What’s worse is that I don’t know if my existence here adds any value to the company. All I want to do is pack my bags and go. Seriously. I want to leave the situation and run away. It seems like I am in a dream that gets pretty nasty and scary I want to wake up. I’d like to go search for a greener pasture and more comfortable place and never look back.

Can I do that? I certainly can.

But shall I? I would probably not.

I’d like to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel.

I put my trust in Him who certainly is in control right now, no matter how messy I see things to be. I don’t know what will happen next or where this would lead me. All I know is that the One who place me here is faithful. Good thing that His faithfulness in not dependent on my circumstances nor on my bible reading, prayer and devotion because I cannot keep up. His faithfulness is dependent on the riches of His grace. I am certain that He can get me out of this situation. Or He can help me get through it.

How about you? Are things getting out of hand in your life as well? Can you tell me something about it?

The God Who Pursues

 

Sweet  Sunset
Sweet Sunset

 

I poured the boiling water into the mason jar with instant coffee, stirred then drank hurriedly.

Yes, it hurts.

It numbs my sense of taste. I can’t enjoy the sandwich afterwards.

What am I thinking? Nope. What am I reading that I forgot to cool down the coffee first before drinking?

I was so caught up by Max Lucado‘s Gentle Thunder.

Here are the lines that speak to my heart:

God does what it takes to get our attention. Isn’t that the message of the Bible? Isn’t that the message of the Bible? The relentless pursuit of God. God on the hunt. God in the search. Peeking under the bed for hiding kids, stirring the bushes for lost sheep. Cupping hand to mouth and shouting into the canyon.

Please understand. His goal is not to make you happy. His goal is to make you his. His goal is not to get you what you want; it is to get you what you need. And if that means a jolt or two to get you in your seat, then be jolted. Earthly discomfort is a glad swap for heavenly peace. Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble, but be brave! I have defeated the world” (John 16:33).

Amazing, the lengths to which God will go to get our attention.

I can totally relate to these lines as if they were written for me.

God called me so many times. I responded at each call but I also turn my back afterwards.

I am the epitome of ningas-cogon–only starting but never finishing.

And all the truth I accumulated over time about Jesus were turned into bland common knowledge without the fruit of a changed life. It is such a waste to know Christ only in my head but never experience a life of blessing as He promised.

But He did not give up on me.

He has so many ways and means to get my attention.

His means to call me are sometimes loving–

A verse.
A quote.
Life testimonies.
Sweet sunset.
Blooming flower.

But mostly tough–

Broken relationship.
Loneliness.
Emptiness.
Isolation.

In the midst of my tug-of-war between being on-fire and cold Christian, He pursued my heart:

Stand up.
Fight for our relationship.
Don’t worry.
Trust me.

A call for action.
A nudge of love.
A command to obey.

So did I. And this time, I hope to finish the race.

Little Things, So Much Joy

IMG_5312
My Kind of Little Things. Though not really little.😀

 

We are walking down the road when Dan pulled out something from her clear envelope.

“This is for you, Mich.”

She handed her a piece of black and white feather.

Mich was overjoyed as she asked, “Where did you get this?”

“Oh I picked it up from the road a few moments ago,” Dan said matter-of-factly.

“You picked it when?!” Mich and I surprisingly asked.

“A few minutes ago. Didn’t you see it? There were a lot of feathers lying on the street. That’s the longest one.”

Both Mich and I were very much surprised at what we heard. We are walking side by side yet we haven’t seen anything. We haven’t even noticed that Dan picked it up.

Two things I was amazed of on this little scene we had yesterday:

First, I was amazed on how we see things from a different perspective. Dan noticed something on the road that we didn’t. We may be busy with other things like how-hot-the-weather-was and the-stop-light-might-turn-red-at-any-moment-so-we-need-to-cross-the-street-fast kind of things.

Second, I was also in awe on how little things bring so much joy to some one. The feathers reminded Mich of God’s greatness in her life. It is just a tiny piece of feather. It is in no way grander than a diamond. It is not as expensive as a the latest smartphone in the market. Yet it brighten up Mich’s face. It brought her so much joy.

How about you? What are the little things in life that you enjoy the most?