You are a slave
No longer believing that
From all the chains
You have been freed
~ Identity | jrlzn

Now, read from bottom to top.

Lately, there are so much lies lingering in my mind. I believe most of them.

Accusing me of:

Why bother doing the right thing if I will just mess it up? I can’t stand on what is right for a very long time. Throw me a trial, hurt me a little, and I will curl up in depression. Then I’ll end up sinning.

Soon guilt will come rushing at the door then I can’t handle the condemnation.

But thank God for His grace that allows me to look at a different perspective that offers hope. There is hope for a sinner like me. And there is hope for you too.

Sometimes, all you have to do is to look from bottom to top. 😉


Solo Travel And Fake Foodie Blogger

IKEA DXB! Ito na ang pinakamalayo kong solo travel since I came here sa UAE. Haha!

Let’s feast in this swedish meatball with mashed potato and gravy na walang strawberry jam kasi ubos na raw. Tatlong araw na raw silang walang stock. So ako nalang raw ang mag-adjust. Tutal, sanay naman ako dun. Anyway, andito na rin lang ako sa area kaya kumain na rin ako dito sa IKEA kasi kaninang 7AM pa yung last lamon ko. Namiss ko ‘tong meatballs nila na mas masarap kung may strawberry jam kasi nagtatalo yung tamis, asim nung jam at alat nung meatball at gravy. Kunyari foodie. Pero ang totoo niyan, ito lang kasi ang alam kong kainin. Hindi ko pa kilala yung iba. Saka nalang kapag may kasama na kong kumain dito. In the near 3 lightyears.

Malungkot yung food chart ko kasi walang kape. 6 dirhams yung kape nila against 3 dirhams na tubig. So tubig nalang di ba? Magkakape nalang ako sa bahay. Dapat kasi talaga nagbabaon ng tubig e. Gasino ba naman bumili sa Baqala (parang 711 nila dito) worth 1 dirham di ba? E pero wala na andito na ‘ko e.

Bukod sa gusto ko lang idocument ang pagpunta ko ng IKEA mag-isa, gusto ko lang din ishare ‘tong verse that became a source of encouragement for me today:

Before pa yan, I’m reading Isaiah and part of it is the prophecy of Isaiah to the Israelites. Sandamakmak na kasalanan na yung pinagagagawa ng mga Israelites at galit na talaga si Lord. But amidst all the anger of the Lord to the undeniable sins of His people, He still give hope to them through these verses:

“Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool. If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the good things of the land; but if you resist and rebel, you will be devoured by the sword.” For the mouth of the LORD has spoken.”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭1:18-20‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Then boom! These verses just spoke to my heart. Para kasi kong Israelite sa tigas ng ulo. But these verses calmed my heart and gave me hope. So I prayed and asked the Lord to help me to be a willing and obedient daughter. His promise of good things of the land is a result of putting Him first as my Lord and obeying Him. I am trying my best to be still and remind myself that He is God.

There! I hope that whatever things that caused you to stumble, you will find God willing to help you stand up again and fight.

And when we get a chance, let’s have some coffee together, ha? Ikaw diyan, ako dito. Hehe

Chao! 🙂

Impossible is one of His Favorite Words.

We make the same mistake that Thomas made: we forget that impossible is one of God’s favorite words. 

When was the last time you imagined the unimaginable?

When was the last time you dared dream of the day when every mouth will be fed and every nation dwell in peace?

Has it been awhile since you claimed God’s promise to do “more than all we ask or imagine?”

~ Leave Room for the Magic, Second Chances | Max Lucado

Undivided Heart

Teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness;
Give me an undivided heart that I may fear your Name.
Psalm 86:11 NIV

I haven’t been faithful lately.

Browsed my little verse card and this one hit me.

So I started reciting these verses silently.
Asking God to grab me from the stillness of my mundane life.
Pleading Him to move me from passivity to relentless action.
Commanding every muscle to do something.
Do something.

He is greater.
He is higher.
He knows all things.
And I cannot take the idea of Him watching me do–nothing.
And worse, am into the gutter of sin.
Of tasting it.
Of wandering my mind off into doing something that will satisfy this growing pleasure.
Of dipping my tongue to the chocolate coated poop hidden in the treasure box of my past life.

Undivided heart.
Fear of your Name.
Let me have it.
Give me the grace to hang on.
Fight and put the swords up.
The sword of your Word.
Hide me at the back of your glory.
I cannot fight this alone.

Psalm 86:11 NIV

I May Go Home

Okay, allow me to breathe and write my heart out.

Am now in the middle of uncertainties: uncertain if I will be able to continue working here or be sent home. Both possibilities are bittersweet.

I have a Labor Ban. It means I have to exit the country and cannot work here for at least one year. A Residence Visa under a new employer would not be possible.

There is a work around though. But getting a work permit is also unlikely. The new employer is checking other options. Until then, things are still uncertain.

The bottom line is: I may go back to my home country. It isn’t a bad thing, is it? I am actually day dreaming of being back home. But the thought of overlapping financial commitment makes me cringe. Ahh, this too shall pass.

I felt betrayed at first. I don’t deserve this, I thought. But what do I deserve? Ha!

Being in this situation makes me realize how gracious the Lord really is. It has been a year since the Ban has been imposed but I am still here, alive and kicking. If I haven’t accepted an offer to another company, I wouldn’t be able to know that the ban hasn’t been lifted yet. And with that, I am thankful it turned this way.

Without the grace of God, I wouldn’t survive a year full of drama and homesickness. I eat five times a day (oops!); enjoyed so many places; gained new friends (and they’re all awesome!); and recommitted my life to Christ. It just proves that He hold all things together and no matter how shattered my situation might seem now, He got me. And that’s all that matters.

Conflict And Steak

There will be conflict.
There will be chaos.
But there will be grace.
And the choice to stick together
through shortcomings and steak.

Last Friday, our team had our first ever conflict. Turned out that some of us (or just me?) are not fully into the game and laxing a bit (or more). Pat needed our help and we weren’t there. Glad that he had patience to handle the situation by himself.  

And then when we had our event (bowling) after the service where we thought we planned so well but still turned out to be chaotic. We have problems with team arrangement and the team member’s name got mixed up. It was so stressful but we have to top it off so we can think of ways to handle the situation. Some of the leaders stepped up and helped sort the situation with us. Thank God everyone enjoyed the day despite all the hurdle. 

Leaders And Intimidation

In the volunteer’s lounge where we eat some bread and drink some coffee, we get to be acquainted by one of our leaders who is quite intimidating, atleast from our perspective.

He joined our group and started a conversation.

PR: Hello.
Ji: Hello po.
PR: Kamusta? Hindi kita nakikita a. Nagbakasyon ka ba or something?
Ji: (Nervous. Trying to play cool and crack a joke.) Hindi po. Hindi niyo lang ako nakikita. Nagtatago po kasi ko senyo.
PR: Ah. Well, you’re not alone.
Group: Hahahaha Hahaha
Ji: Wants to die.

Uhm, I think the joke didn’t end well.

But it struck something in me.

I remember another leader who taught us to be mindful of our leaders. Pray for them and reach out to them also. Ask them how are they doing. Smile and give word of encouragement. He said that it is easy for us to go out and have fellowship together but have we ever thought of inviting our leader in those intimate get together? Maybe they’re busy. Maybe they don’t have time. But still: it’s the thought that counts, right? 

Why am I intimidated by him? Why are we all afraid to start a conversation with him? He is still human, ain’t he? I realized that my reaction, though in a form of a joke, is half meant. And his response, although he is smiling, also rings truth in it.